How I got started…
I have always felt this life is not the stories I was told. Growing up I was raised Roman Catholic. We went to Mass every Sunday and sometimes during the week. I don’t know if you have ever tried waking up a six year old early to make him put on dress clothes, but each weekend my mother struggled through that. At least afterwards we always got donuts. While I did not agree with the people who lectured me, I also felt the topics they talked about had to have some significance beyond what I understood at the time. However, any curiosity I had was smudged out by authority figures and all human behaviors were criticized unless followed by a showing of repentance. In addition, I saw grown-ups do the same things I got reprimanded for and if ever addressed it was “do as I say, not as I do”. Even at a young age, that was something I simply would not accept. This turned me away from all religious and spiritual practices. I saw it as a means of controlling people through fear. This idea of a robe wearing man in the sky who acted like a child wielding a magnifying glass seemed silly to me. But everyone else I knew seemed to believe it. I decided I was going to break out of the box. I would only give credit to things that could be proven and I wasn’t going to let people use fear to control how I acted.
Where my journey has led me…
At a young age I had many challenges and events which lead me through a great deal of pain. In hindsight, the pain may have been more of my choosing than I realized. From about fourth grade on, mental illness had a big impact on my family and home life. It was the early 2000’s and back then (feels weird saying that) not many people understood how to handle it. There was a lot of chaos in the household and it wasn’t anyone’s fault either. Shortly after entering high school my mom was diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor. It was a shock to everyone because she was the healthiest in the family, having gotten her MD in nutrition. My mother passed away two weeks after my 16th birthday. Believing that I was the only one who could shoulder the burden, I began using substances as a way to meet my responsibilities. Although the words mean nothing, many would have considered me “high functioning”. That house of cards always falls and I had to find a different way of living. Many journeys down 3am rabbit holes brought me to a greater understanding of myself and the dimension my physical form inhabits. The more I learned, the more I nourished my soul. Eventually I developed a little faith and serenity. And of course, getting sober helped.
My Practices and Studies….
I found my start reading mythology of ancient civilizations. I have always found really old things to be fascinating and I love story-telling. From here, I branched out to areas of study. Astrology became very important for me. Quite frankly, I started learning it because of a girl, but although I didn’t believe in it at the time I was surprised how much of it applied to me. I felt if I learned my whole natal chart I would learn more about myself. Why I think certain ways, why I act how I do and why I have predispositions to certain people. I have a degree in psychology and these questions were never this straightforward. Soon after, I began to practice with Tarot and I Ching. My interests again started to branch off. I started moving through the centuries to look at what other seekers have found, eventually reading modern science texts. This enabled me to connect the dots between disciplines and practices. In recent years I have had the joy of connecting with like-minded individuals and I love the blossoming number of people becoming interested in these things. I am sure they were always there but my vision was too narrow. I always felt I was supposed to run my own business, so in 2020 I decided to go full-time sharing the topics I am so passionate about. Wherever you are in your journey, if you are reading this, it is by no coincidence. For however long you decide to stay, I hope you find what you are looking for.
May your seeking be fruitful and your findings bountiful!